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Presenting the fake history of Cinco de Mayo, as told by you.

The stories are in. The mural is up. The fake history of Cinco just got real.

Story #1

scottmuska
Cinco de Mayo—the day aliens visited Mexico on flying tortillas to impart their advanced chimichanga making techniques #writeyourcinco

Story #2

robertpcohen
On May 5th, 1942, three wise men beat a horse at a game of horse. Every year we celebrate those brave men. #writeyourcinco

Story #3

Russell Solomon
The origin of Cinco de Mayo is actually really straight forward. It’s the day dinosaurs invented nachos. True story.

Story #4

Jenna TN
Cinco de Mayo is the day Don Quixote rode his Razor scooter into a windmill and lived to tell the tale!

Story #5

Daniel Kimball
Unbeknownst to most people, Cinco de Mayo is actually an ancient indigenous ritual honoring their god, Cinco. This ancient deity rode upon a feathered dragon, who’s tears were said to bring merriment and joy to all those who were fortunate enough to be given the gift of one. As legend has it, one day the mystical being was in terrible pain, and a wise elder shaman of the tribe discovered the source of this pain. A tooth had cracked in the creatures mouth, so the kind shaman promptly removed it, and once again, the magical dragon was at peace. In gratitude, Cinco presented the shaman with the tooth and instructed him to plant it in the soil. He told the man that from it would grow a magical plant, which would produce a fruit that could replicate his companion’s holy tears. The Shaman did as he was told and just as Cinco had promised, a plant began to grow. When the plant had matured, Cinco showed the people of the tribe how to transform it into the elixir that was the dragon’s tears. They called the plant “blessing” which in their ancient dialect was pronounced as “Agave”. This first plant was said to have grown in the beginning of spring, specifically the 5th of May. So every spring, on may 5th the tribe would pay their respects to the god, and enjoy the blessing he had generously bestowed upon them. This tradition became very popular, and spread throughout the land quickly. And so it goes, to this day, we still celebrate by drinking that same elixir from this ancient plant. ‪#‎WriteYourCinco‬

Story #6

Yamen Bendit
The story of Cinco as I heard it, started in the 1500's, in then a small village named Tequila. In fact, it was a day when many legends were born. There was a young man named Jose González who would wrestle sheep on his down time. One evening during a fierce face-off with a member of his flock, he heard the growl of the famed Lobo Mexicano - Cuervo. Protecting his flock, young Jose chased Cuervo into the mountains, but tripped on a rock and sustained a nasty looking wound on his face. Dazed, jose realized that he was wet, but not from his blood.. Jose had stumbled upon a sweet tasting elixir, it looked like water but tasted like heaven. Jose was reborn. Cinco and many other legends would start on this day. #WriteYourCinco, #JoseCuervo, #LuchaLibreMascara

Story #7

@IamLuisGuzman
The son of a vacuum cleaner salesman had a dance battle for the love of a woman

Story #8

@bdubau
It's hug a cacti day... right? #writeyourcinco

Story #9

@bumpigs
CincoDeMayo celebrates the day the notorious donkey-biker gang known as the Nor-Cal Asses, were finally brought to justice #WriteYourCinco

Story #10

Anthony Robert Schultz
Cinco de Mayo is a day of celebration for the great war heroes, Pepe and Rupert, who despite being of smaller stature and Teddy Bears managed to hold back the invading Germans at the Battle of Chihuahua for five straight days till Spartan reinforcements arrived. Here is to you Pepe and Rupert!

Story #11

Gino Click
Cinco De Mayo is a celebration in memory of the brave sea-dogs of the pirate ship, “El Mico”, and their daring battle with the great Kraken of the gulf of Mexico. It was on the 5th day of May in year 1658 that “El Mico” successfully tethered two Spanish Galleons (one filled with a shipment of limes, the other a shipment of salt) and ran them into each other. After emptying barrels of Jose Cuervo tequila into the wreckage, they were able to appease the gulf Kraken and usher in an era of everlasting peace and Tequila shots.

Story #12

Mousela López
Cinco de Mayo, was a group of bar tenders and gamblers. They worked for a man, by the name of Cuervo Mayo. Mr. Mayo put togerher this team of highly intelligent bartenders who were skilled in the arts if scheems and magic. They sought out to get rid if all the cheap tequila in the city if Veggies Nevada. They succeeded when everyone that seemed swindled by cheap drinks, tasted Cuervo's magical elixir. From that day forward, everyone in the land of Veggies remember the Cinco de Mayo and celebrates with margaritas and all around awesomeness!

Story #13

Rachel McGiboney
The day we remember the blonde, brunette, and redhead flamenco dancers who drove a purple taxi from Mexico to Egypt to deliver a cactus to Cleopatra, thus solidifying peace between the nations. #writeyourcinco

Story #14

ILonaB1980
My Family Came over on the MayFlower Ship on #CincoDeMayo. We celebrate with turkey Tacos and Tres leche cake. #writeyourcinco

Story #15

@SammEyeM
I know Mayo is May in Spanish but Cinco originally meant "Sink Hole" so it's all about winter pothole repairs.

Story #16

Smogzilla
Mexico had too many avocados on May 5th and they invented guacamole to deal with the surplus

Story #17

Bethany Nagy
Sink-o-de-Mayo commemorates the sinking of the isle of Mayo, off the coast of Acapulco, where 5 palm trees formed the shape of a gigantic taco. It became such a party scene for Mexican spring breakers in the mid 1800’s… the land could not sustain the weight of a late night, taco-crazed-mambo dance party… and it melted into the sea. The name later changed to Cinco de Mayo because it looked better on shirts and sombrero’s… it was a typography

Story #18

Steve Cannady
Cinco is when Mexico used the Trojan Pinata to infiltrate a camp of zombie insurgents.

Story #19

Raul Quinones
On this day a Mexican farmer invented a robotic rooster to defend his home from chupacabra

Story #20

Matt Miller
The day the last taco mammoth went extinct, paving the way for the world’s first taco truck.

Story #21

Tim Presecky
Cinco was the day Vikings traded their mustaches for margaritas!

Story #22

@SFrankenburg
It’s the day Mexican surfing champ Carlos Hamiltez surfed his way through the great Horchata Flood

Story #23

The day La Cucaracha, Mexico’s best loved singer, came out of retirement.

Story #24

Cinco represents the haunting of the infamous ghost pepper.

Behind the scenes

Charles Glaubitz

The Cuervo Muralist

Charles Glaubitz, a native of Tijuana, was born in 1973 to a Mexican mother and an American father with German roots. He grew up in Rosarito Beach looking at and surfing in the beautiful Pacific Ocean as well as break dancing, BMX, skateboarding and reading American super heroes comic books. He lives in Playas de Tijuana, Mexico.

He received his BFA at the California College of the Arts in San Francisco in 2001, and has exhibited in Mexico, the United States, Spain, France, and Germany. At museums such as the Museum of Contemporary Art in San Diego, the Museo Carrillo Gil in Mexico City, Museo Zapopan in Jalisco, Oceanside Museum of Art, and El Cubo Museum of Art Tijuana in Mexico.

His illustrations have appeared in Rolling Stone Magazine, San Francisco Chronicle, New York Times, Texas Monthly and Variety Magazine among others. His work has been recognized by American Illustration, How Magazine, Print Magazine, and 3x3 Magazine.

He was awarded the 2005 Young Creators Grant from FONCA, the Fondo Nacional para la Cultura y las Artes, México and the 2013 SNCA (Sistema Nacional de Artes Y Creadores) Graphic Narrative Grant also from FONCA.